Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
