That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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