Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
