dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
