There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
