508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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