Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize