That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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