I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
