I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
