Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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