does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
