he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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