HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
