Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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