I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize