I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
