This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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