just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
