Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
