I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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