Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
