after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
