The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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