I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
