i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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