and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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