I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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