You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
