just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
