Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
