i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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