Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
