some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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