I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
