my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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