I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
