Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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