Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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