i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
