please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
