nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize