You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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