he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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