bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize