Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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