But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That's intense
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
