that's an acceptable place to lick
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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