im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
