I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
