omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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