well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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