I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
