In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
