you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize