that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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