id be glad to
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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