sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
