do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just cropdusted the office
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
