if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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