so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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