you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize