I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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