he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize